Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
