It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
