Im at strip club and am horny
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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