Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
