I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
