i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
