I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
