Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
