his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
