My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
