Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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