Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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