I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
