Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
