Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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