Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm both gender and math confused
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
