can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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