i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
