so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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