I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
