hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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