i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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