lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
operation harelip BJ is a go
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
