Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
