I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
