We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
