If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
