Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
