kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
