Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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