Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
