this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
