We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
