i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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