Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
