She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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