i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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