You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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