you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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