To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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