if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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