The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
