i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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