the day after is always just damage control
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
