You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
