Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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