"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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