did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
