I feel like abortions should bother me more
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
