My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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