nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
